Jaya Kula is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization offering opportunities to learn and practice in the traditions of direct realization Tantra and Anandamayi Ma. Shambhavi Sarasvati is the spiritual director.

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Dark night of the soul

Angry at God

Satsang with ShambhaviShambhavi riffs on the kinds of anger we experience when we are doing spiritual practice and on the infamous dark night of the soul.

Satsang with Shambhavi is a weekly podcast about spirituality, love, death, devotion and waking up while living in a messy world.

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I want to talk about anger. Ordinary anger. Because there is also enlightened anger. But that’s a topic for another day. So the biggest view is that whenever you are angry, in an ordinary way, you are angry at God.

Somebody said to me today, I am angry at God. Well, you are always angry at God whenever you are angry. Because everything that’s here is That. So if you are angry at yourself, you are angry at God. If you are angry at your roommate, you are angry at God. If you are angry at your friend, you are angry at God. If you are angry at the person in front of you on the freeway, you are angry at God. If you are angry, because you spilled your latte, you are angry at God! If you curse when you stub your toe, you are cursing your God. Whenever you are angry you are angry at God.

We tend to feel particular kinds of anger that pertain to being on a spiritual path. We tend to indulge in or encounter particular forms of being angry at God. We are just feeling angry and frustrated because we don’t understand. When you start to get glimpses of a larger experience, then you realize “Wow!” I wish I had more of that and you can get angry and frustrated at God because you are limited. You get angry because you feel limited. If you’re just toddling along, being satisfied with whatever is in your head and whatever your conventional experiences are made of, then you are really not going to experience this kind of anger.

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