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Thanks for Not Raping Me

Misogyny and Spiritual Practice
Episode No. 127

Thanks for Not Raping Me is a window into the ongoing conversation among the students of Jaya Kula about gender, sexuality, misogyny, and privilege. You will hear the voices of students and a far-ranging discussion about working with the impacts of misogyny from the perspective of spiritual practitioners in the community. A podcast from Satsang with Shambhavi

Podcast First Words

Student A: I have a question. Through all this discussion that we’ve been having in the community about male privilege and aggression, I’ve become closer to an underlying sense of mistrust, and almost disgust, for men. I feel that is something that I should work with. I don’t know where to start.

Shambhavi: Well, I think it’s really great that you got in contact with that. I was just thinking about this today actually—that in my 30s and into my 40s, I just didn’t have much contact with men. They were like gray shadows in the background of my life.

And now I feel so happy about being able to relate to so many men. That I can hear all their really gory secrets, find out all about how they are, and help and be open hearted. That just happened by the lowering of any feeling that there is opposition here. Or that there is anything worth doing other than being open hearted. And that just came through practice. So I don’t really have a magic bullet. But I do know that finding things that are underlying is good, and eventually those things get melted away by our practice over time.

I’ll just say from my own perspective that I feel really, really happy about not feeling those things anymore. I mean, sometimes I’m still squeamish about some of the things that I hear as a teacher. But I’m still happy I’m able to hear those things, host them, and be open hearted in the face of everything. I’m happy I’m able to feel compassion for peoples’ pain and limitation.

I never could’ve done that before. I was too angry. Really, who wants to stay that way? I know you don’t. So you’ll feel your feels, and you’ll keep practicing, and it’ll eventually melt away. That’s really the best I can say. But it’s okay to have those feelings.